Alive, alive, oh oh!
We tested for carbohydrates.  There were carbohydrates.
How did cells on the inside exchange nutrients and wastes with the environment?
It wasn't accompanied by baby stinky biscuits.
There was no evidence of cilia or flagella.

As the fragrance of badseabiscuit parfum wafted into the hall,
we knew one thing:
whatever it is or may have been, it was not giving up its secrets easily.